I'm a complainer

So, the kids are gone to my parents'. They left yesterday morning and will be home tomorrow. They were supposed to be gone til Friday, but my mom is just too exhausted to take care of them anymore. Whatever. I'm big time bummed. Today I did major cleaning, but didn't get everything done that I wanted to because I thought I had another day to do it. Oh well. The downstairs is spic and span at least.

I'm still in a down, down, down kind of mood. I was up, up, up until I found out my kids are coming home tomorrow. That makes me sound like a bitch, doesn't it? They just wear me out. I don't think I am cut out for this whole motherhood thing.

Rain Rain Go Away

I hate rain. I hate mud. I hate all that comes from the rain and the mud. I have given up on cleaning my kitchen floor until the rain stops. My dogs are determined to track in as much mud as possible.

I want Kensie to walk. I am sick of watching her crawl on the floor. It's so gross. Oh, and for the record, she isn't allowed in the kitchen, so she isn't crawling through the doggy prints. Plus, I am tired of carrying her everywhere. Walk, kid. Just don't take as long as your brother did. J was 18 months before he finally decided to walk. I want Kensie to walk before summer. No crawling at the park, thank you very much.

I feel blah these days. Very blah. I need a friend. I have friends, but I don't have friends. I have no one to confide in and I have so much bubbling inside me. I feel like I am going to break very, very soon.

I need opinions. Does Kensie need bangs? I think she has a big forehead and needs them, but I don't want to cut her hair and I don't want to deal with the hassle of bangs. So, does she need them?

Not a great shot, but this is Kensie with hair on her forehead:















Kensie with no bangs:

Strike

So, J is on a nap strike again. He went through this in December, but has consistently napped daily for at least 6 weeks. Two days in a row have been no nap days. I need him to take naps. J needs his naps. I need the break. He needs the sleep. The only good to come of the nap strike is that he goes to bed earlier at night and he sleeps a bit (not much, but a bit) longer in the morning. However, he is such a bear without his naps. Short of knocking him out, though, there is nothing I can do about it. Kids are so dumb. I would love to be able to take a nap every single day. I did when I was pregnant and it was heavenly. Naps are awesome.

I Mean Seriously

Do kids have no sense of time? Every school day, I have to drag J's butt out of bed at 7:30. I have to deal with his crabbiness, his, "I don't wanna go ghoul", and his snail's pace. However, the other five days of the week that the child doesn't have school? He is in my bed before 8. Every. Single. Day. "Mommy, wake up. Mommy, I hungry. Mommy, I wanna go outside. Mommy, I gotta go pee. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." I just want to strangle him! Way back before he was in school, J was on a much later schedule. He went to bed around 10 and woke up between 9 and 10ish. Now he is always up before 8. I would love one of those sleeping in kind of days again. It seems that along with going to bed a bit earlier he also doesn't need as much sleep as he did when he was littler. I guess that is to be expected, but still. I shouldn't complain, though, because I have a nephew who is up at 4 every morning. And another one who considers 5:30 to be sleeping in. What is with these kids?!

Kensie is getting closer and closer to walking. She stands alone a lot now. She doesn't even realize it most of the time. Now she just needs some confidence.

We just got done watching "The Secret Life of Bees". If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It was fabulous.

Now it is off to bed with a book and then some sleep before my alarm...er, three-year-old greets me in the morning.

Birthday Princess

Yesterday was Kensie's first birthday. I can hardly believe it has been a year already. How is that possible?!

We had her party at a local pizza place. It's hard to plan a party in February. Once she gets older, we can do more things, but at this age, it's limited. We just had family there. She was indifferent about the gifts, but loved, loved, loved the cake. We learned today, though, that when a baby eats pink frosting, her poop also turns pink. That was quite the surprise!

I can't call her a toddler yet. Kensie is so tiny. She is only 19 pounds. She doesn't walk yet. She just doesn't seem like a toddler to me. So, she's still my baby.

Here are some pictures from the party:



So, Happy Birthday, my Kensie Leigh. You are my precious baby girl and I love you.

Sorry for the absence

I have been horrible about blogging. I don't think anyone actually reads or cares, but I just thought I would apologize anyway.

J is good. He is a three-year-old and that's about all I have to say about that.

Kensie will be one in ten days! Where did this year go? Gad, she will be a toddler. However, Kensie is teeny-tiny. She looks more like an eight or nine-month-old than an almost one-year-old. So, that makes her a baby.

I know nothing else. It is damn cold here in NE Wisconsin. I am sick of cold. I am sick of winter. Just three or so more months til spring!

Christmas is done, it's the New Year, and now what?

We had an awesome Christmas this year. J was so into it. He ripped into his gifts, anxiously awaited Santa's arrival, left a sandwich and milk out for the big guy, and was so excited about the whole thing. Yes, there were meltdowns, but those are expected. J got the three things he wanted the most: Helmet Heroes, Candy Land Castle, and GeoTrax Grand Central Station. Kensie liked the boxes.

Chris and I dealt with the stomach flu that plagued both J and Kensie. We ended up missing out on Christmas with the in-laws (boo).

I am ready for things to return to normal. I have lost track of the days. I need pre-school and other regular events to break up the week for me.

We also had the pleasure of meeting our new nephew on New Year's Day. Chris' sister and her husband have been trying to adopt for years. After a failed adoption, they finally got their baby. Micah is from Ethiopia. He is beautiful, sweet, and a wonderful addition to our family.

December is like September

We are having one of those months. September was full of sickness and a broken bone. December is full of sickness as well. Luckily, no broken bones thus far. (Knock on wood.) Poor J has had the pukies twice this month. He was so sick over the weekend that he had to get IV fluids at the hospital. It was horrible to see him poked. J has my veins and I have my mom's veins. They don't branch out where they are supposed to and they are hard to find. J had to be poked ten times and he blew one vein. It got to the point where he didn't even fight and struggle anymore. I don't know if he gave up or if he was just too exhausted. He fell asleep as the nurse was flushing the IV once she finally got it in. He slept with people talking and the bright ER lights shining on him. It was traumatic to see him hooked up to an IV. I thank God that my kids are healthy. He was rewarded with this toy from Gramma and Pop-Pop. Spoiled.

I finally uploaded pictures from Kensie's baptism. She wore the dress that I wore when I was baptized and that J wore when he was baptized. Here we are:


This is J with our tree. Yes, my boy is only in underwear. Since his favorite outfit is his birthday suit, I feel happy that he is in his undies.



And this is J and me (photgraphed by me):

The Big Guy

We took the kids to visit Santa last week. Just so you know; we have the Santa at our mall. He is the real deal, all the way from the North Pole. I had no idea what to expect. Kensie has such stranger anxiety and three-year-olds are a wee bit unpredictable. I decided I wanted a picture no matter what. We got up to the front of the line, I plopped Kensie on one knee and J on the other. Kensie turned to see who was holding her and I expected a breakdown. But guess what? Nothing. I was so surprised. Here is the picture that we got:



Kensie was baptized on Sunday. It went well. J had his school Christmas concert on Sunday as well. I was so bummed. The would not allow flash photography and our video camera wasn't working. However, the school videotaped the concert, so I will have to purchase a copy. J did really well and looked so handsome.

Look Mom!

My kid cracks me up. He always comes up with the most random stuff. He had pre-school this morning. When I got him out of the van, he noticed something.

Tangent here for those that live in warm climates. In case you didn't know, Wisconsin gets snow. A lot of it. So far this year we have had over a foot. Snow gets caught in the wheel wells of vehicles and dirt and road debris gets caught up in it. Most people kick the stuff off in parking lots because it can make turning difficult if it gets too thick. Or it just falls off eventually.

So, I got J out of the van and he exclaimed, "Look Mom! Poop!" and pointed at a big clump of brown snow. I had to explain to him that no, that is not poop. We have had talks about not eating yellow or brown snow and I went over that with him again.

Once he was in his classroom, he ran over to his teacher. He said, "You not have poop outside. It just brown snow." She didn't know what to think.

Having an inner struggle

I have been down and crabby the last couple of days. I made a major life decision about a year ago and now am second guessing myself. I wish life were more black and white. I wish that I had a crystal ball so I could see my future. I wish that I knew for certain if I did the right thing. I hate this feeling.

We have the sickies....again

J is puking today. Gah. This is the THIRD time since school started. He is miserable. I am miserable. I am worried. Six pukes in less than three hours. No pee since 9:00 last night. I want to call the ped, but Chris says to wait. For what?

I wish for some Xanax.

I Need Help

Seriously. J is making me nuts these days. He is SO naughty. He talks back. He's defiant. He gets into things. He hits. He bites. I thought these were behaviors that I could expect out of a one-year-old. But at three?

In the past week, he has sprayed half of a can of Lysol all over the bathroom, dumped all of the CD's onto the living room floor, gotten into the changing table and emptied two boxes of Q-tips all over his floor, pushed his sister, hit his sister, hit me, hit Chris, pulled the dogs' tails, squirted Desitin on his arms, bitten everyone in the family, thrown more tantrums than I thought humanly possible....

It's never-ending. I am exhausted. I am over-whelmed. I don't know what to do with him anymore. I can honestly understand why people beat their children. I have self-control and will not beat him, but I can see why some people lose it.

Plus the child has decided that he doesn't need an afternoon nap anymore. He is a kid that NEEDS a nap. He is such a bear without it. But he has only taken one in the past couple of weeks. I still make him go in his room, but he's in and out a million times. I cannot fully relax because I am still dealing with him. I need my break during the day.

I am at the end of my rope.

You let him do what?

J has a crush on a girl in his class. He proposed and she turned him down. :(

Anyway, J likes to play with this little girl. Her mom and I were talking the other day before the school day ended. She was telling me that her daughter said that she and J play in the Home Living Area. Apparently, they like to play with the kitchen and to play dress-up. Another mom (of a boy) overheard our conversation. She said to me, "You let him play dress-up?!" I told her yes and that J even has a baby doll. She replied that her husband would never go for that. Who cares? They're three. J is currently also sporting pink toenails. I guess that if my son plays with dolls, gets dressed up as a princess, and likes to hang with the girls that he is going to catch the gay. Oh, J also told me the other night that he wants to take ballet. I should have told that to that other mom. Some people are just so close-minded. It's sad.

Want a challenge?

Have you ever tried to take a picture of three kids? Yeah, I have. All my mom wants for Christmas is a picture of her three grandkids. J and Kensie's cousin is five and his name is Ryan. On Friday night, my sister and I picked out matching Christmas pajamas for the three kids. Then on Saturday we tried the photo shoot. Unfortunately, Kensie is at the height of her separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. Another unfortunate thing is that my sister hasn't spent much time with her niece. So, Kensie is quite leery of her.

We tried. We really did. But we could not accomplish all three kids looking and all three kids smiling at the same time. In fact, Kensie did not break a smile at any point. All she wanted was for Mommy to hold her and for her auntie to stop looking at her.

Here are some of the outtakes:



And this one is our keeper:


Professional quality? Nah. But Gramma will love it, none the less.

What is God?

That is the question my son asked me today. I was stumped. I have never been stumped by a question of his. I had no idea how to reply. I told him we would go to Barnes and Noble and find some books about God. How do you explain the concept of God to a three-year-old when I don't even truly grasp it?

The Dentist

J had his first dentist appointment yesterday. He did as well as could be expected. I had no idea what to expect as three-year-olds are a little unpredictable. It went as follows:

Actually speaking to the hygienist: Check

Getting into the big chair: Check

Allowing the hygienist to count his teeth: Check

Examining the instruments and holding Mr. Thirsty (the spit sucker thing): Check

Actually allowing the hygienist to clean his teeth: Check, check!

Fluoride treatment: No go

X-rays: Absolutely a no go

Speaking to the dentist: Negative

Getting back into the big chair: No way

Letting the dentist take a look inside his mouth: Absolutely no. (Well, in J-speak, "Ever, never, ever." This was said with the arms crossed across his chest and a very defiant look on his face.)

We pinned him down and she took a look in his mouth while J screamed like a crazy person. She saw no visible cavities. Yay! But she said the nooch needs to go. It's affecting his palate. I know it needs to go and it comes to no surprise to me that she said so, but I was already feeling pressure about it. Now I feel intense pressure.

So, the visit went better that I expected. J needs to go back in six months. I am so happy to have that behind me.

The Epilogue

So, J and Kensie finally fell asleep last night around 11:30ish. It was great! Chris and I went to bed at about 2. Yup, we're night owls. While we were getting ready for bed, J came walking into our room. He's never done that before. He said he couldn't sleep, but I just steered him right back to his bed. I rubbed his back for a bit and left. Both kids slept til 8:45!

Chris and I were both, like, this is so weird to have our room to ourselves now. We could turn on the bathroom light and talk in normal voices rather than whispering. Now, we both fell asleep as soon as we hit the pillows, but maybe we'll celebrate our new freedom tonight. ;)

Go to Sleep Little Babies

So, Kensie has been sleeping in our room since birth. Chris and I are sick of her being in there. However, she and J have to share a room since we have no extra bedroom. I have been quite hesitant about moving Kensie to J's room as J is sometimes a PITA about going to bed at night, plus I worry about them waking each other up. Chris decided out of the blue tonight to move Kensie to J's room....I mean, their room.

So, I put her down in the crib in their room. Kensie is fine for a few minutes and then begins screaming. She does her morning nap in the crib and does her afternoon nap in there as well if J is skipping, so she is familiar with the crib. For the record, Kensie never cries when she goes to bed. She fusses sometimes a bit, but never screams.

I go back upstairs, settle her in again, and then leave. Within 15 seconds, she's crying again. I go back in and pick her up. Chris tells me to just leave her alone as she needs to get used to it. I cannot hear my kids cry, so I turn off the monitor.

Chris rocked her for a bit and then put her back to bed. She has been crying off and on since then. It's 11:18. Kensie has never been awake this late before. J is also not sleeping.

I knew this was going to be a transition and that it was going to be challenging, but I feel so frustrated. I don't know how she'll do tonight, if they will wake each other up, or if anyone is going to get any rest. And this mommy needs her sleep.

Halloween

Clever title, eh?

Halloween was so much fun this year. J actually understood it and the concept of Trick or Treating. Our city's TOT hours were 4-8 that night and I like to go out the earlier the better. I don't like being out after dark with my kids. After much deliberation in the Halloween store, J had decided on Dracula. Kensie was Scooby Doo.

I got J and Kensie into their costumes, loaded Kensie into the stroller, and off we went. At every house, J would tell Chris and me to "wait right here on sidewalk" and then he would march up to the door all by himself. At most of the houses, the people were waiting either by their door or on their porches. J would announce, "Trick or Treat!" and hold out his pumpkin basket. We usually had to remind him to say thank you as he was so overwhelmed with joy of getting candy.

One can tell which houses are giving out candy as they are the ones with porch lights on. No porch light means no candy. After explaining this to J several times, he became the light lookout. He would announce either "That house not giving out candy." or "That house has light on!".

We went for a few blocks before J began dragging his basket on the ground and his steps became sluggish. He was happy to go back home so he could dig into his candy and hand out goodies to the other kids. Unfortunately, we only had three trick-or-treaters! We have so much candy to eat now.

And now for the pictures...